Sunday, March 1, 2009

Doesn't Know Sh*t from Shinola

Well it’s come to this.

I had hoped I wouldn’t have to do this but the last few weeks have gone too far.

I don’t really have a specific lesson plan here. This is just a basic visual representation of sh*t and Shinola.

Oh, I suppose I could have people send me an essay on how the sh*t or Shinola makes them feel or submit a five page comparative analysis of sh*t and Shinola…but then I would have to read all those papers and grade every. I’m not really interested in that.

I'll stick with cue cards. Okay here is the first one, this is sh*t:

Now this is Shinola:

Let’s review. Sh*t has a shorter spelling. It is also known as crap, poo and feces and it has a particular smell and texture unlike any other manmade material. But it doesn’t just have a physical presence. It transcends the physical world into the metaphysical. You can use it to describe your day as “it was sh*tty” or a person you talked to earlier in the day as in “that guy was full of sh*t.” So here it is, let’s give it all a big welcome back to the blog, sh*t!

Now let’s go back to Shinola. It has a longer spelling and a slightly different pronunciation. At one time it was a name brand shoe polish. Unfortunately, Shinola is no longer available to purchase but there are other brands of shoe polish that you can buy. For the most part, this particular shoe polish only had a physical presence on this earth but after it was paired with sh*t, it was transformed. Sadly, Shinola's only used today as an intelligence test. Can anyone tell the difference? We hope so but some the activities as of late seem to prove otherwise…so let’s give a big welcome to the shoe polish and hope that people can tell the difference…Shinola!

Photos used: Shinola from Wikipedia and Mr. Hanky from South Park