Monday, August 18, 2008

We've secretly switched her coffee with decaf coffee, let's see if she notices!

Monday meetings are fun, aren't they?

They are an opportunity to reflect on all the things you didn't do over the weekend (you then kick yourself for each incomplete task). They also give you an opportunity to experience REM sleep without closing your eyelids.

What was that? You don't think that's...possible? You don't...believe me? You've never experienced REM sleep on the conference...table? Wait, wait...wait a minute! You! Yes you! You're attending productive, organized and invigorating meetings that encourages fresh ideas, positive thinking and (gasp!) encouragement?! It's you, isn't it?!

Oh, that is it, I can't take it any more! You have agendas at your meetings, don't you?! Don't lie to me, I can tell (sob)! You and your high-falutin' technology, I bet you use the dry erase board to highlight points in your conversation. Don't you know your suppose to bask in the glow of those wonderful dry erase pens? They have such a wonderful...smell and the ventilation in that meeting room doesn't work as well as it once did. You should be able to detect pen fumes in the hallway.

And what about all those stick figures you never draw on the board? How are those people suppose to exist if you don't draw them?! News reporters from the major networks always focus on extinction but non-existence is just as important.

And if Sally doesn't write, "Sally was here" on the dry erase board, we will never know that Sally stood at that board and wrote her inner most thoughts. She has thoughts, ya know, little ones! We can't increase Sally's thought size but we can increase the number of her thoughts! We should encourage Sally to think every day. She also has a soul and she should have an opportunity bear it. She could stand to bear her soul more often instead of

Besides, Monday is a time for you to listen! You get to listen to everyone talk about everything. Well, okay, maybe not what's on the agenda but that's not important!

So in conclusion, Monday meetings are a blast. I hope I remember all of this next week because there's bound to be a quiz. Normally, multiple choice quizzes are easy to complete but they take longer to finish when you're snoring.