What’s that noise?

Architecturally speaking, I work in a nearly perfect building so imagine my surprise when I discovered a major flaw in the building’s construction. This flaw, though not fatal, is certainly not conducive to a professional work environment.

“Not conducive to a professional working environment? Babs, are you talking about yourself again?” Nope, for a change I am actually focusing on my workplace and more specifically the environment of my workplace.

To set the stage, I must first describe this building which I thought to be a place of distinction and decorum. I now realize it actually resembles a place of “stink-tion” and discord. The building is filled with skilled professional businessmen and women who conduct their business activities in a polite and professional manner. Who knew their business could become everyone’s business? And who knew their bladders were so small?

I shall start with the exterior of the heavenly architecture. The demure brick and mortar façade belies the stately cathedral-like structure within. As you enter the building, you are greeted by rough tile carved from ancient stone. The stonework stretches towards the inner sanctum and stops at the marble colored alter. As you continue your pilgrimage through the building, you are swallowed by the great expanse of the lobby and the open offices. You are then bathed in light reflected from the golden walls. Looking for a source of that light, you gaze upwards towards the wood ceiling above you where you are finally able to see the skylights and wooden crossbeams suspended in the air.

So in other words, this beautiful building with a very large and fairly smooth interior does not have any materials to absorb sound. It has a bit of an echo. Echoes are okay though they make hearing difficult. I don’t mind echoes but I do object to the sound amplification.

What’s so bad about sound amplification? Well…um…sometimes you shouldn’t be able to hear everything that is going on in a room. Or in various parts of the building…for example, someone who is suffering from allergies or a cold will be able to perform a small recital by vacating his or her nasal passages into a facial tissue. We may not be able to see the contents of that facial tissue but we will certainly be able to guess the characteristics of those contents based on the performer’s musical interpretation.

Listening to someone tooting his or her horn could be fun.

This could explain why the architects placed the restrooms so close to the lobby. Let me just take a moment to emphasize (again) that everything from all parts of the building is amplified. Everything!


So, my work “to do” list is a bit larger than usual:

Focus on relationships with co-workers and customers
Focus on the positive
Focus on sales
Drink plenty of water
Eat a balanced diet
Be sure to have a bottle of Bean-o on hand at all times