Parawhat?

Television is great; commercials are great. They teach you about the world and about people sitting next to you on the couch.

For example, my Sweetie and I were watching an ITT Technical Institute commercial about different educational programs they provide. He sat transfixed as the background music accompanied the sprightly yet official sounding voice over.

“We have a paralegal program.” The ethereal voice chimed. “Our paralegal program is goooood. You will love, love, looooooove our paralegal program. Paralegaaaaaaaaaal.”

I think that’s how the commercial went.

Anyway, while the commercial pixie droned on and on about “paralegal, paralegaaaaaaal…” my Sweetie turned to me and stated that he wasn’t too sure about studying for the paralegal program but he was pretty sure he wanted to study for the paraboob program.

Knowing the fickleness of some of these academic programs, I had to ask if he had a backup plan should he not qualify for the paraboob studies. He thought about this for a moment and after scratching his…um…private…uh, uniquely male tender bits stated that, “should I not be accepted into the paraboob program, I will apply for the paraofnuts program.”

This made perfect sense (always helps to have a backup plan in the realm of academia).

I am comfortable with all of this as long as he doesn’t go gallivanting across the country to become au pair for a pair of nuts.

Stupid pair of dangling nuts, I’m going to have to put my foot down on that…or up and then down…or something…

Of course at the conclusion of this discussion, I had to bow my head in respect for the angel who lost his or her wings. Sweetie, you really should be more careful of your…uh, “actions.”