What're you looking at?

What DO you want?!

I am trying to nap!

And stop with the inane giggling...

It's Love

I luvs mah snuggie! I luvs it so- zzzzz.....

Ahhhhhh...

Halloween Costume

We had a lot of fun at the Davis Graveyard Halloween party this year - thank you Frog Queen for the invitation!

We always have a great time at the party but this year was particularly fun because myself and my guests were able to coordinate a group costume.

That and I was able to successfully beat InDesign into submission.

I know, I know, two coups for one event, I will never be this lucky again!

I and my guests number six and we all decided that it would be lovely to dress as a team. During the brainstorming session, my Sweetie suggested the idea of a swim team and thus our costume idea was born.

It was such an tantalizing idea! We would become a cohesive unit working together to accomplish one goal. If one of us wasn't working his or her tail off, he or she would be there to support the others; cheering the rest on to victory...um, party victory...or in this case, inebriation.

As you know, every team needs a mascot and our team was no exception. And so, mustering all of my clever design skills and my astute drawing capab- a-ha-ha-ha! I crack myself up sometimes! I sat down and scribbled out a mascot and then spent the next two or three days screaming at my computer in the hopes that it would play nice and give me a descent logo that we could use for our costume.

At long last, our mascot and logo was designed and in a suitable file format. We gazed upon our mascot and felt a new sense of camaraderie that we had not felt before. Though we were already friends, we became a machine, working together for the greater good. We were in this together to accomplish our goal. We ordered our sweat clothes and coordinated meeting times with a new sense of vigor.

Were we an Olympic grade team? Who knows, but someone made gold shiny medals for everyone to wear. Her efforts helped exemplify that although we physically did not have gold Olympic medals, our mental state achieved platinum.

We gathered before the party to review our strategies and iron the logos onto our sweat clothes thus providing the feather in our caps before the big night.

Why all this effort over a swim team? Because on that night, we represented one of the most important swim teams know to man.

I should probably introduce you to our mascot. Meet Herm the Sperm!

Oh, did I mention we dressed as the Fallopian Swim Team? The blue logos were for the boys and the pink logos were for the girls.

And a big thank you to Mark for the mascot's name - it really suits him! I love the way it just rolls off my tong- um, it sounds great!

We were even good enough to qualify for sponsorship this year! Look at all the wonderful sponsors we scored!

The list of sponsors might look a little suspicious...like I randomly grabbed some of the logos off the internet and slapped them together but I can assure you that each of these logos were arranged in InDesign with the utmost care.

And many shameful naughty little words.

Ack!

The plague, the plague, I have the pla-

Okay, okay, I have a cold...so, ack!

Of course I really won't start feeling better until the political ads stop.

And She's Back

Wow, it was July...and now it's October...

Where is my time going?

Killing zombies again? Me? No, I haven't killed zombies in a week...well, maybe a little on Friday but only Friday...oh, and for a short time on Saturday. I only killed a few zombies on Saturday.

Mind you, I did go to that wedding ceremony awhile back. I have to admit that my schedule was a tad crazy in September for that thing. And my poor Sweetie actually married me...I don't know WHAT he was thinking (I know I wouldn't have married me if I were him). Oh well, live and learn I guess.

Anyway, my Sweetie and I are now hitched. I know that I am hitched because I have tons of tiny little bars of soap in my cupboard as evidence.


Yep.


Little soaps.

And thank you Mr. Golden Nugget for all of them. A girl can't help but know that she's truly married until she gazes into her cupboard and sees THAT many miniature soaps staring back at her. Of course this means that I will need to buy soap next month but for now, my supply is good.

Tons of soap isn't the only evidence of my marriage. For example, I have new home address I can never remember and I have a strange man who wanders around the house clad only in sweaty-pants. I also received my copy of the super secret guide book that is standard issue for all married couples in the world. Of course, I am referring to the Everything You Need to Know About Him, the Dog, You, Cooking with Small and Disgruntled Appliances, How to Organize the Perfect House, Gardening for Idiots and Light Household Repairs that Make Sense and Actually Work.

I hope to receive my copy of Nefarious Smells and Their Meaning soon. It should be an invigorating read.

Oh! And I have a ring. I did receive a wedding band from the ceremony (though for a short time in Las Vegas, I wasn't sure if I was going to receive my wedding band because my Sweetie began to request things including a sparkly tiara and a full bouquet of flowers). I was able to wrestle my nosegay out of his hands briefly to walk down the aisle with my father but it disappeared soon after. I swear I heard someone singing "I Feel Pretty" from the West Side Story. It's a great song but it isn't meant for a tenor voice. I'm not saying that the singing sounded bad, I'm just saying that the voice sounded strained for the "See the pretty girl in that mirror there..." section of the song.

So anyway, I'm back...I think...at least I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere and I hope all of you had a wonderful summer.

Dreams and Schemes

Wow, where'd the time go? Isn't it still June? No?

It's JULY?! Crap...

I think "Left 4 Dead 2" should come with a warning label that says, "This video game is crack. Your eyeballs will dry out, your dog will hate you and the ice cream in your bowl will not only melt but also grow fuzzy as it sits there and waits for you to finish your stupid game."

I still have quite a few things on my "To Do" list to finish up although I did replace my dying cell phone and I mailed out my wedding invitations. I also got me my own URL because I am strange. Besides being strange, I also fight with Blogger everytime I compose a blog entry. After much thought, I decided to spend a little money to save some frustrations.

Stupid video game. Now want to shoot any child that is crying because he or she could be a witch...not a good urge to have...I think parents frown upon that kind of thing nowadays.

So hopefully I will be blogging more and shooting fewer dead people.

It is fun to watch the body parts fly though.

Parawhat?

Television is great; commercials are great. They teach you about the world and about people sitting next to you on the couch.

For example, my Sweetie and I were watching an ITT Technical Institute commercial about different educational programs they provide. He sat transfixed as the background music accompanied the sprightly yet official sounding voice over.

“We have a paralegal program.” The ethereal voice chimed. “Our paralegal program is goooood. You will love, love, looooooove our paralegal program. Paralegaaaaaaaaaal.”

I think that’s how the commercial went.

Anyway, while the commercial pixie droned on and on about “paralegal, paralegaaaaaaal…” my Sweetie turned to me and stated that he wasn’t too sure about studying for the paralegal program but he was pretty sure he wanted to study for the paraboob program.

Knowing the fickleness of some of these academic programs, I had to ask if he had a backup plan should he not qualify for the paraboob studies. He thought about this for a moment and after scratching his…um…private…uh, uniquely male tender bits stated that, “should I not be accepted into the paraboob program, I will apply for the paraofnuts program.”

This made perfect sense (always helps to have a backup plan in the realm of academia).

I am comfortable with all of this as long as he doesn’t go gallivanting across the country to become au pair for a pair of nuts.

Stupid pair of dangling nuts, I’m going to have to put my foot down on that…or up and then down…or something…

Of course at the conclusion of this discussion, I had to bow my head in respect for the angel who lost his or her wings. Sweetie, you really should be more careful of your…uh, “actions.”