Monday, March 15, 2010

Party Time, part II

So B, I heard you went to a party the other night, how was that?

It was good. We got to check out some exhibits, eat some food, an-

Wait, did you say “exhibits?” What kind of party was this?

It was our company party at OMSI. You know, that one museum over in Portland Oregon and I had a great time.

A party in a museum…okay…that’s different. Well? What about the details?

Is it that obvious?

Yes, your brain doesn’t function like others; what did your brain do?

I can say without a doubt that my brain behaved itself…fairly well…mostly fairly well. I did not cause injury to myself, others, the exhibits and the dessert table. I also believe I used my napkin in a proper, dignified and polite manner.


Yes, the napkin. See they had these white napkins on the table-

Hmmm…obviously I am not asking the right questions. You saw and/or did something at this party otherwise you would not be talking to yourself right now. Let’s start over, was there anything unusual about the food?

Uh, feta cheese with tomatoes served in pastry boats.

That seems normal.

It was on a platter in the buffet line located near the T-Rex exhibit.

Bingo! This must be about a display! Okay, so you were standing in the exhibit hall, what else did you see?


Teeth aren’t funny, what else did you see?

But we were eating, that isn’t funny? No? Um…well, there were the gestating fetuses.

Uh…that’s a little bit…um…

It was kitty-corner to where they were serving…uh…you know…(whisper) adult beverages.

Hmmm...I still don’t think this is the right exhibit. Was there a display that caught your eye? Was there an exhibit that you looked at for longer than a minute?

Yes, there was this huge anatomy display. It was a female mannequin and you could see her internal organs. She stood on the pedestal and there was a control panel right in front of her.

A control panel? That sounds interesting, what did she do?

One of the buttons on the giant control panel rotated her slowly on her pedestal. She was looking at all the desserts over on the table and I didn’t want her to feel like she was missing out on all the delicious brownies so I pushed the rotator button until she was looking at the nanotechnology instead.

That’s very kind of you but a giant control panel? What else did this control panel do?

Well, the other buttons were labeled with her internal organs. When I pressed a button, the corresponding internal organ lit up. I press all the buttons and watched all of her internal organs light up…well…most of them.

What kind of internal organs?

Um, let’s see, there was the brain, the lungs and the heart.

That’s good, nice to see those organs in fine working order.

Her boobs lit up too.

Really? I…I didn’t expect you to say that…um…I think they are called breasts.

Yeah, her breasts lit up which was really nice but I think she blew out an ovary. The left one didn’t light up at all. I kept pushing the button and only the right ovary lit up as if to say, “I’m still here!” I don't like burned out bulbs.

I, uh…wow…uh…I’m going to go now.

Of course, this party was a few weeks ago so I hope she is feeling better now.

Related story: Party Time (part I), A Letter to My Love, A Solution