Odd Things

Each year, I find that the frequency of me saying odd things increases…in fact this sentence was very strange for me to write (even though I submitted English papers in college, my attempts to write in this language were often thwarted by the all of the confusing rules. My poor little brain would freeze like an IBM compatible and need rebooting. I cannot tell you how many Sunday afternoons were spent with my head lying on my pillow, English paper and pencil in hand as I napped in a bewildered state).

I also majored in music so that wasn't very helpful.

So anyway, I say a lot of odd things.

At this point, I should clarify that I am not talking about those oh-so-freaky-moments when I speak to another person and I utter a phrase that came from my mother. While this kind of moment is “slightly bone chilling, almost wet my pants, in no way am I turning into my mother so don’t you dare give me that look Missy;” it still doesn’t quite measure up to some of the really odd things that I say to people.

Take this email that I wrote yesterday:

“Please select two other veggies for tonight’s dinner. I am sorry to say that pork rinds do not count as vegetables.”

An odd comment and apparently I needed to say it because it appears in an email that resides in my “out” box. Perhaps one day, they will find a cure for my compulsion to say odd things and when that day comes, I will be able to live a somewhat normal life. Of course the side effects from this cure may include headache, dizziness, dry mouth, abdominal pain, bloating, constipation, diarrhea, incontinence, difficulty urinating, flatulence and other fun things that will delight and entertain small children and grown men alike.

Dude! They have microwaveable pork rinds?! Original and spicy?! I have got to get out of the house more often...or maybe never leave my office, my desk or the internet.




Vaguely Similar Stories:
Just Can't Make This Up, Random Thoughts II, Random Thoughts of The Day