Lesson Learned

The Boston Terrier is brave and bold little dog but what happens when a person takes said brave and bold little dog through a car wash?

Apparently that brave little dog begins to shiver. She also wants to snuggle (presumably this is a very brave form of shivering and snuggling).

And so, Puppy Daddy learned a valuable lesson that day: never again would he take the brave and bold Boston Terrier to the car wash and they all lived happily ever after.

poor lil' Sally.

Might be worth it to buy one of these kits (I've actually used the Mr. Clean - it wasn't bad. The dog stared at me contentedly from the yard while gnawing on her bone):




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Sad Day

Tuesday was a sad day for the family. After fourteen years of running, jumping, chewing and shedding, we finally lost the German shepherd to old age. As part of the family, she wore many hats and performed her duties admirably. Thankfully she entertained us while entertaining herself.

Here is a brief list of some of the hats she wore (and chewed) in the family. For she was a:


A puller of plants. When she was a puppy, she pulled out all of the corn stalks from the garden and had a great time dragging them around the yard. She finally dropped the battered stalks when she decided to take a nap.

A pruner of bushes. She destroyed two azalea bushes by pruning them down to the ground. The third and final azalea was able to survive because it was enclosed by a five foot high fence. It took time for my brothers to learn about the importance and versatility of fences during the early years. Once they learned about fences, they were able to use this knowledge to save numerous plants as well as furniture.

A chaser of the light. This dog would chase a laser light for hours while carrying a squeak toy in her mouth. When the laser light failed to move for five seconds, she would aggressively squeak her toy at it until it began to move again.

A lover of cheese. Her love of the laser light was only surpassed by her love of cheese, specifically Tillamook Cheese. At least she was a dog that appreciated good cheese.

A stealer of toys. When proud parents brought their babies over to the house, she would sneak over to the baby carrier and then snatch all of the kids’ plush toys.

A shedder of much fur. Only a chow would have more fur on its body and it would also be more discreet during the shedding process.

Another thought that comes to mind is that this strange dog would carry her stuffed toys around in her mouth. The fact that she carried stuffed toys in her mouth was not strange in and of itself but the fact that she always carried them by their butts was a tad disturbing. My brothers explained this behavior by stating “The best meat is in the rump.” We will miss you Maggie.

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Correction III

You know I really thought I got this right one but to no avail…(sigh)…I mean, for Pete’s sake, I was a music major, I really thought I aced this one. Now I don’t know what to think so I’m going to lay out all of the options.

On May 2nd, I described how my Sweetie, after we paint the town red, changes into a pair of sweat pants and then shuffles about in his house while singing his favor sweat pants theme song. Like a wire brush applied to the snare drum in a jazz trio, his baggy pants gently swish about his legs as he sings his vibrantly little tune.

My Sweetie was quite upset with my writing. It turns out that the lyrics I used to represent his favorite little song were utterly and incomprehensibly wrong.

How could I be so careless? How could I do such a thing? I’ve described my Sweetie at the height of bliss scurrying about his living room in a pair of black baggy pants with stripes down the side and I recklessly threw the wrong words in his mouth.

I used “Swea-ty paaants, swea-ty paaants.” He claims that it should be “Sweat-ty paaants. Sweat-ty paaants.”

I’m not sure what I should use so here are a few more options:


“SweaTy paaants, sweaty paaants.”

"Sweat-tee paaants, sweat-tee paaants.”

“Sweat-Tee paaants, sweat-Tee paaants.”

And there is also, “Swe-Tee paaants, swe-Tee pants.”


One reason I am slightly confused by the pronunciation is that it changes depending on the number of drinks we have consumed during the evenings activities. My ears must be getting a bit sloshed.

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How does he do that?

I realized last week that I’ve dated my Sweetie for five consecutive years.

Needless to say, I am rather impressed with the relationship. We’ve learned a lot about each other and we seem to get along well.

Of course being together for five years doesn’t mean that we understand each other perfectly. For example, he seems quite puzzled as to why I always wear sandals. To me, sandals are very comfortable like a pair of slippers. They are easy to slip on and off and help keep my feet aired out (which really helps keep the musty smell to a minimum).

I am equally puzzled by how he is able to move so incredibly fast (it’s like time is standing still or something). The magic starts the moment we enter the house. We step into the house, turn on the lights and greet the dog. At this point, I discover I am parched and head to the kitchen for a drink of water. In the time it takes me to grab the glass, fill it with water and begin to drink, my Sweetie has cast aside his pants, slid into a pair of sweat pants, tinkled and is now shuffling about the house either playing with the dog or deciding which DVD he would like to watch.

Bear in mind, we just got home from the movie theater.

I also haven’t finished drinking my glass of water.

On occasion, he shuffles about the house while chirping a little song. “Swea-tee paaants, swea-tee paaants…”

How does he do it? Is this a guy thing? Is time really standing still or is the water pressure in his house just incredibly low?

And finally, do people watch DVDs after coming home from the movie theater?

Yes, I find all of this very puzzling but ultimately I am more intrigued by how he accomplishes all these things in such a little amount of time.

At least I was able to figure out why he leaves his socks on when he comes home. At first, I thought leaving his socks on when he changed his clothes helped save him time but I now realize that he just likes to fling his socks across the room while he is watching the DVD.

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What’s that noise?

Architecturally speaking, I work in a nearly perfect building so imagine my surprise when I discovered a major flaw in the building’s construction. This flaw, though not fatal, is certainly not conducive to a professional work environment.

“Not conducive to a professional working environment? Babs, are you talking about yourself again?” Nope, for a change I am actually focusing on my workplace and more specifically the environment of my workplace.

To set the stage, I must first describe this building which I thought to be a place of distinction and decorum. I now realize it actually resembles a place of “stink-tion” and discord. The building is filled with skilled professional businessmen and women who conduct their business activities in a polite and professional manner. Who knew their business could become everyone’s business? And who knew their bladders were so small?

I shall start with the exterior of the heavenly architecture. The demure brick and mortar façade belies the stately cathedral-like structure within. As you enter the building, you are greeted by rough tile carved from ancient stone. The stonework stretches towards the inner sanctum and stops at the marble colored alter. As you continue your pilgrimage through the building, you are swallowed by the great expanse of the lobby and the open offices. You are then bathed in light reflected from the golden walls. Looking for a source of that light, you gaze upwards towards the wood ceiling above you where you are finally able to see the skylights and wooden crossbeams suspended in the air.

So in other words, this beautiful building with a very large and fairly smooth interior does not have any materials to absorb sound. It has a bit of an echo. Echoes are okay though they make hearing difficult. I don’t mind echoes but I do object to the sound amplification.

What’s so bad about sound amplification? Well…um…sometimes you shouldn’t be able to hear everything that is going on in a room. Or in various parts of the building…for example, someone who is suffering from allergies or a cold will be able to perform a small recital by vacating his or her nasal passages into a facial tissue. We may not be able to see the contents of that facial tissue but we will certainly be able to guess the characteristics of those contents based on the performer’s musical interpretation.

Listening to someone tooting his or her horn could be fun.

This could explain why the architects placed the restrooms so close to the lobby. Let me just take a moment to emphasize (again) that everything from all parts of the building is amplified. Everything!


So, my work “to do” list is a bit larger than usual:

Focus on relationships with co-workers and customers
Focus on the positive
Focus on sales
Drink plenty of water
Eat a balanced diet
Be sure to have a bottle of Bean-o on hand at all times

Drawing Class

A typical art professor? Perhaps.

He stood beneath a tuft of gray wavy hear. It seemed to nod in agreement as he spoke of artists, techniques and history. His tan corduroy pants seemed to gather at his feet to keep his ankles warm. His gray tweed jacket was cast aside quickly at the beginning of class so that he could use his hands to demonstrate points in his lecture.

His voice, though quiet, was steady as he shared an explosion of ideas with his new audience.

“There was a period called the Renaissance…”

“Many of Da Vinci’s ideas were drawn…”

“I work with glass…”

And his hair continued to nod silently in agreement.

Is he a typical art professor? I dunno but I’m hoping that I will learn a few things so that my stick figure drawings look a bit better. The next few weeks should be interesting – especially with the hair.

Also, as you can probably tell, I’m also reviewing notes from the creative writing class I took last fall. Hmmm…I should probably re-enroll in the creative writing class…:)

Hopefully I will be able to find these guys before the end of class.
I should probably clean my room...

He didn't say that using stencils is "cheating."

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Setting the Record Straight

I just want to let you know that I was not the bearer of bad news today.

I use to be the bearer of bad news at work and at home but no more! I’ve turned a new leaf! I’ve learned my lesson and my lips are sealed! Here are some examples of the new mantras I chant:

Sales are strong!

Business is booming!

The economy is doing great!

The weather is sunny and that is not an error message on your monitor saying, “PC load letter!”

Oh, by the way, your great aunt who has terminal cancer finally moved to her beloved exotic island so that she could paint pictures of all of her new young native lovers. She is alive and well but the village where she lives does not have a telephone so you will never be able to talk with her again.

Besides, she’ll be too busy painting all those cute boys and drinking delicious fruity drinks to talk to you!

See? It’s all rainbows, lollipops and unicorns from here on out. And if you heard otherwise, remember, you did not hear it from me!

Probably should have had one of these suckers in the room!

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